Kai's life
by Bibbs
Summary: Completed. Very melancholy with a lot of symbolism Kai looks into the book of life and delves into his past... and something long forgotten is revealed to him...
1. More to Life

Firstly, I would just like to say that this came around from reading a past english exam. There was one source which inspired me to do this little story of Kai's life. It was about writing, and some such quote which I have used are taken from there... So please enjoy and try to be nice when you rveiew.lol. Thankyou.

Now onto the story...

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**1. Is there more to life?**

_Have you ever felt that there was nothing left for you to live for? That each and everyday held nothing more but a routine for the worlds soldiers to follow. Life may be unfair… But I have learnt that life goes on…_

The skies began to grey as the springtime showers settled in. Tears from above let forth their existence as the glass began to dance to the rhythm of the rain.

Kai turned from his thoughts to the book lying at his side. Bringing his view to the pages in front of him, the words began to tell him a story; an all too familiar story of life.

As the letters began to dance in front of his eyes, Kai gave an inward sigh while he picked up a pen. The pages, in front, beckoned him; coaxed him to follow. And as the doorway to another place and time began to open in front of him, he let all the restrictions of time and space begin to recede.

…_the written word holds more power than a word merely spoken. For the words that I speak come straight from my heart…_

As he slowly turned the pages, the words danced to a familiar tune.

Pulling his attention away from the book Kai lifted his head and gazed around the now empty room. He noted that his teammates had left him be. This freedom gave him the time and space in order to think of everything… yet nothing in particular.

To Kai, friend's meant nothing. Brought up with the knowledge that friends made one weak, Kai had done everything possible to become strong. But this strong hold of his past kept him still. This strength kept him bound; frozen to the words of his past. To let this ice melt for even the tiniest of moments would mean an overflow of emotions.

Kai glanced down at the handwriting in front of him; drawn in by the words which filled the pages of life. But this couldn't go on. Tearing away from the paper, Kai closed the only thing which held him back. This book, which held all the secrets to his life, was the only thing hindering him from the life which he deserved; the life that Kai wanted.

…_every life has a story…_

But whether that story is shared or not, is another matter…

If you wanted something so bad, that you would do anything in order to receive it, does that make you selfish?

…_we are the hero of our own story_…

Where in a story of pain and anguish can the hero triumph? Overcome obstacles which can not be seen or heard. Held down by nothing more than the routine of the past.

…_What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us…_

Turning his views from the pages which had so long held his gaze, Kai brought his attention to the window. The tears of life had drawn down to a drizzle, leaving the glass tinted with its pattern. Following a droplet down, Kai noticed how soft it glided; trailing down the window, and coming to a gentle stop on the edge. Then it fell. No longer visible for the eye to see and where it landed no one would ever find. Would anyone even care?

Kai fell back and lay on his bed. What if life was that simple? Falling from above, only to end up where no one would know, or even care about you. His life felt worthless, but something kept him holding on. Something which Kai hadn't known was there. Maybe there was hope after all. Somewhere…

…_you should always learn that with life comes wisdom and with wisdom comes the courage to live your life selflessly. The more you learn about yourself the more opportunities you have to make your life better and more fulfilling…_

Do dreams come true? Or are they but a pebble being thrown into a pond of darkness…

Kai through open the book, and let the words spill out once more. There in front of him was his life. The book which held all the secrets that Kai had never shared. Maybe it was time. It was time to let his story known to the world.

…_for a candle looses nothing by lighting another candle…

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Soooo... did you like it? Please review to tell me.lol. I like being encouraged. : ) 


	2. Forever Changed

Okay, here's the second bit. It's only a two chapter thingy but I had fun writing it. I was thinking about writing another story about Kai's Life, like seriously... all about Kai. We'll see though, cause I got a lot and I mean A LOT of school work right now. But please, don't lt me withhold yopu from the story... enjoy: P

**storm-of-insanity:** Thankyou. Yes, encouragment isgood. I love this type of writing even though this is the first time I've tried it...is it really that philosophical? Cool. lol.

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2. Forever Changed**

Kai slowly stood from where he sat and opened the pages once more. The words hidden away leapt upon him and filled him with wonder. He thought about all that lay before him. If he finally chose to forget his past, and look towards the future it would have to start with his friends. Teamwork was something that Kai had learnt along time ago. But it was only now that the realisation hit him. He wanted it to be put into practice. He wanted to enjoy life.

Step by step he made his way to the door. Gripping the threshold of his past in his right hand he turned from his thoughts and walked out of the room. Viewing his surroundings he noticed the lack of space; the lack of enjoyment. His teammates had chosen not to return so soon as expected. This gave him time.

It is time.

Walking over to the fireplace he watched as the fire flickered brightly. Slowly burning what was once fresh and pure, the flames danced to their energetic tune.

Page by page they fell from his grip. Twisting and whirling to their destruction. Kai lifted his head and watched as the smoke billowed up the chimney. Turning his head he looked down to the last entry in his book. The final page which held him back. Putting his hand into his pocket Kai pulled out a pen. Lifting the pen to the page he began to write the final words which the book would ever hold.

Letting the page fall Kai watched the words begin a new dance. The dance of death. Yet with this death came a new beginning.

Kai watched as each word disappeared, leaving nothing but black ash to remind him of his past. It was done.

He was about to turn away from the heat when a black, crumpled piece of paper, flew out to land infront of his feet. Hesitantly picking it up he saw what it held. The final words placed into his book.

Kai looked out of the window and a smile reached his lips. Looking down at the blackened paper he noticed more familiar words begin to make sentences.

Hearing the doorhandle beginning to turn, Kai jumped from his thoughts and the smile vanished. Seeing it was his friends he let the final words make their voyage to the flames. His teammates walked over to him and sat down on the couch.

"Hey, Kai. What are you doing? Anything we can join in on?"

Kai sat down and looked towards his teammates; his friends. The smile reached his lips once more and he turned to look towards the flames.

"No, but I've got an idea of what to do."

His friends frowned and looked towards their team Captain. Kai sat up straighter and looked each one another in the eyes.

"How about we talk?"

Watching the flames begin to grow dim, the words on the paper began to fade. Kai's past had finally disappeared, it was time for the future. And as the final words melted away, that new life began.

_Have you ever felt that there was nothing left for you to live for? That each and every day held nothing more than a routine for the world's soldiers to follow? Life may be unfair, but I have learnt that life goes on and in doing so I have learnt to write down my thoughts._

_I've thought about how to say all that I have to say and I came to a solution: I can't. I found that in writing I can write what I feel and no one would ever know. A friend once told me that the written word holds more power than a word merely spoken, 'for the words that I speak come straight from my heart'. So that's what I chose to do. I wrote. I wrote down all there is to know about me, and wether I reveal my true self to the world or not; this is my life. My book._

My name? Kai Hiwatari. And what I could say about myself I have no idea, only that I have lived a life, which many wouldn't know, and never will. That's why I chose to write. Some people say that they vent their feelings with emotions and words, but that's not possible for me. That's why I write. I can put whatever I want in this book; the emotions I feel, what I like, or dislike, even who I hate, but no one will ever see.

_When looking over the pages, I found that my story held more value to me than what I originally thought. This story of my life held my past and the dreams of my future, but what of the story that I wished to live? In this story I can be whatever I want. Does it necessarily have to hold the truth? 'For we are the hero of our own story'. I once heard an old friend say that and maybe he was right. In my imagination nothing holds me back, so why should life? My life certainly hasn't been glamorous._

_Right now I'm fifteen years old. I can't say I have many friends, though my team seems to think otherwise. I have two-toned blue hair, which falls in bangs over my face and four blue triangles tattooed onto my cheeks. Why I have them, I'd rather not say. That certainly isn't a glamorous story. _

_But through that story and much more that I've experienced, I've figured something out, what do I have left to hold on to? I don't have anything left because it was all taken away from me. I grew up in Balkov Abbey as a child. A place of nightmares come true. It was nothing more than an old man's obsession with experimentation and world dominance. How anyone could be so weird I'll never understand, but I have often heard those who would say, "Like father like son". Does that include your grandfather? Does that mean I'll end up like him; on the run against the world with nothing left but his stolen money and the name that forever will be known as a criminal?_

_But their's something which keeps me where I am. I don't know what, but it's there. Like I've been told countless times, life's not fair, but life goes on. Some may call it, 'stuck in the past', but how could I let go of what has held me down? Maybe it's better to forget. It's like what my mother used to say, "What lies behind us and what lies before of us, are small matters compared to what lies within us." _

_I think it's better to explain it as what is within us holds the secrets of life. I think my mother understood what the meaning of life was. It's what's inside us. Our dreams, our hopes and our desires. Those are what we live for. But you should always learn that with life comes wisdom and with wisdom comes the courage to live your life selflessly. The more you learn about yourself the more opportunities you have to make your life better and more fulfilling. With learning this you hold the key to your life. But if you withhold it, what happens?_

_Maybe it is true; you have to live your life selflessly. And with that comes the power of sharing. But what happens if I've hidden the truth deep down in order to forget it myself? I don't want to tell anyone of my past, but maybe I should. Maybe it won't hurt if they knew. For a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. So maybe it is time for my life to be shared. My story; my life._

_I write to always remember, I write to not forget. But in realising this I've come to one conclusion that I simply write because I am._

_Kai Hiwatari-_

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So... how was it:P Please Review...I like reading comments.


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